Filed under: Art n Stuff
July 19th Yuko is back from Tassie so I’m pretty happy today, even though I worked hard at uni for most of the day. Just recovered from a major weekend on the southern NSW coast it was awesome. Celebrating Richo’s 21st which was done in fine style, with fine food and company. Be sure to click on ‘NEW PHOTOS’ to see what went down.
Ok time to go to sleep. I have my first 9am class tomorrow morning to start off my final semester.
July 14th
Going to the coast tomorrow for a bit of a shin dig for Richo’s 21st. Should be redhot, what with a ride down with Trev, Sam and I in the car there could be no better way to start the weekend. This weekend should allow me to get cracking with the D70 (Digi SLR). I haven’t been taking it out much lately cause I’ve usually been riding or going to partys, that’s all. Got a bargain on ebay today too, a new compact Nikon Digi Cam so I won’t miss those snapping opportunities of late, ex-stock refurbished with a 12month Nikon guarantee for $150. 3.14 megapixels, Bargain + 256mb SD thrown in for good measure.
July 13th
Doughnuts, yes doughnuts. The all important hole in the middle is the point of topic today. If it’s not there it technically isn’t a doughnut. However, this hole in the middle seems to some to be quite a waste of usable space in which there could be more food. It could be said though, that less is more. If we did want the extra food we could just get a pizza pocket or pie which utilises all of the space. A jam doughnut I here you saying, doesn’t have a hole but that a whole new kettle of fish isn’t it……….
July 7th
Time is defiantly my enemy. It just seems to be flying by recently (although it is the holidays) that makes little difference though. Been working on some sound for my work, rather than manipulating the original sound that’s recorder I am going to completely generate my own sound according to the video.
Been drawing up heaps of ideas and have some shooting and making to do in the next few week/months. I’m sure the end of this year is going to come well before I want it to, if you haven’t already, check out my latest video works (although some have been dumped already) and stay tuned for some sound pieces, I’ve even been working on some Drum&Bass tracks.
June 30th
Been getting back into making some music and I’m really enjoying it. I have the new Mac Pro Logic 7 software and although complicated it has loads of potential.
Here’s a little extract froma dream I had;
As I went deeper down the staircases the slot got smaller in order to get into the next stairwell. Until I got into the final stairwell (there’s 8 or 9) I could only get my lower legs into it cause my thighs where too big. The kind gentleman who appeared from no where said that this was because your two are bigger than your brain. All of a sudden it made perfect sense. I wasn’t going to get outside this time where I’d been so many time before.
June 26th
It’s amazing what I can do when I’m asleep.
June 22nd
I have mid year honours assessment yesterday. I felt I had put a good effort in this last semester and it really showed when I manage to pull everyting together into one room. My installation style work was setup for the first time and showed some major teething problems.
I have alot of things to consider for the final semester with them all being of equal importance. The only way to implicate these considerations will be major testing. With my work being quite technical it is of the upmost importance that I test.
One question I was asked by the panel was ‘would it matter if you substituted yourself for someone else?’ I asnswered that ‘There would no longer be the personal attachment that I feel is an integral part of the work and therefore it would become meaningless for me.’
June 19th
When things aren’t quite going your way there is always someone there to tell you ‘life wasn’t meant to be easy’ and then they piss off before they tell you what life is meant to be, It’s cause they don’t know themselves. I’ve realised now that there’s only a few people that will give you unconditional advice and that’s your parents. The rest is just advice mixed with the persons preferences, which doesn’t necessarily suit you.
I just don’t know which way is up at the moment…..
June 18th
I often free my mind. Rather than burden my consciousness, as I’m drifting off to sleep, with imaginative thoughts of the near and far future, I prefer to ponder the past. There is no set procedure for this recollection of the past but merely a start point that jumps from tangent to tangent until I fall asleep. I find this amazingly relaxing, as well as comforting. This is as close to clearing my mind as I can possible get at the moment, I love it, then someone turns the light on.
June 11th
“In the end it all boils down to the want to live forever. This is what arts all about.”
Damien Hirst
Life is very busy at the moment, which contradicts my art work. Avoiding distraction only leads me to others. I’m trying to cut some ties to main stream life so that the thought of the uncontrollable finish (death) can be better comforted by my conscience.
I like creating space, not space to enjoy and be used merely as a distraction but space that leads one to boredom/contemplation and the thoughts that come after that. If everyone contemplated just a little more I am sure conscious life as we know it would be a little better.
June 7th
The Performance Night went well last Friday. People are calling it a success and seem generally impressed. My piece went resonably well although more time for testing would have been good and possibly made it better. I was quite tired and emotional on the night which intensified how I came across, basically saying everything I’ve been contemplating of late. The piece I think was a little eractic and due to some technical difficulties a little under prepared but I learnt alot from it that will carry me through to the end of the year.
Photos Soon…..
June 2nd
Wow where is the f**king time going!!! Too many distractions which is understandable considering that as human beings all we do through out our lives is look for distractions to keep us from thinking about the real stuff like the fact we’re all going to die one day. Doesn’t matter what we do or who we become it will happen, gloriously or not we will become nothing more than unconcious matter, no more important in a physical context than a piece of concrete or even less.
Anyway I’m going to be getting in my box tomorrow night for the Inaugral ANU School of Art performance night.
May 27th
I does not matter how much one searches there are certain things one can only find in the place they call home, for me its a certain peaceful mindset free of so many responsibilities, propositions and contemplative thought patterns.
May 25th
Comfort with space is the feeling of leaving something for a long time only to return and find it exactly the same way, “like opening the knifes and forks draw and finding them neatly placed just as they’ve always been”.
A space that confirms your existence more than you think you exist is a space that one must appreciate.
May 21st
My work directly references the feelings and thoughts that I am entertaining at the moment. With these references I am creating scenarios that will work metaphorically to speak to a larger audience.
I want to give people a ‘leader’ into my work that will allow them to delve into much deeper contemplation and self reflection. I don’t necessarily want to tell people something or how they should view my work. Maybe they will look at my work and say, ‘well here’s a guy just sitting around in empty spaces contemplating something’ and that’s all they come up with or it could lead them to contemplation of themselves or something else. At the end of the day I make my work so that I can better understand myself and space around me.
May 19th
Currently I am working with video, using it to capture temporal moments of myself existing within spaces, suggesting notions of contemplation. I am videoing spaces that are void of stimulating objects, spaces that are very opposite to that of a living room. These spaces needn’t be large nor is the place they are in specific. These spaces are places, places that if taken away from us we would be surprised how much we miss them, spaces that are useful but when spending too much time in them we may be bought to ‘boredom’. With boredom comes contemplation and as human beings we are trying to avoid contemplation at an existential level most of the time relieving ourselves by allowing destractions to lead our minds to something we consider more interesting.
How often and how long do we sit in an empty space before becoming bored?
Funny how the final space we end up in is exactly that, empty, long and void of stimulating detail.
May 19th
I want to leave a trace of my existence that will last many times longer than my life span. If I can be sure that I have done this whilst alive I will be more than happy to cease my conscious existence.
May 18th
Where are the days going?
We go through life gathering momentum to only end up unconscious and in a box, (an inadequate way to end a colourful life I feel). Throughout life we accumulate possessions, these possessions determine who we are and how we are ordered socially. Generally those with little possessions are discarded as worthless and as having little importance, whilst those with many are stood in ore or generally envied. People also constantly seek new possessions in order to maintain their social status, increase their social status and improve their lifestyle (many feel that it is the possessions that determines whether their lives are good or not).
In the end we can not take these possessions with us and all that is left is our unconscious consumption of space, the impression people have of us and traces of physical manipulation that we have performed whilst conscious with two thirds of these lasting less time than our life span.
May 15th
It seems a worthy existence is only something that can consciously react to another conscious action. Although we know that if a tree is ring barked it will die (the equivalent of cutting our veins). This could be considered a conscious reaction as it is something that takes place in the equivalent amount of time as us dying from a cut (when you take into account a trees life span compared to ours). So why then if I cut my veins in the middle of Tokyo would it be anymore important than a tree being cut down as i could not consciously react anymore significantly than a tree within this city.
I’m not trying to make an environmental statement, merely pointing out that other things other than conscious human beings have worthy existence’s.
May12th
Things to come out of yesterdays tutorial with my lecturer;
* Space and Place as a means to confirm ones conciousness.
* Subjects in my videos have to be actors rather than performers.
* People rarely entertain themselves or stay in a place void of objects (usually these object are useful or aesthetically pleaseing).
* People usually prefer not to stay in these places too long as it leads them to contemplation of the self of an analytical nature.
May 10th
Space -
* Sufficient freedom from external pressure to develop or explore one’s needs, interests, and individuality: “The need for personal space inevitably asserts itself” (Maggie Scarf).
This is a vital part to ones existence. I feel many people go through life trying to cling to others inorder to cement themselves within a certain social group. If this social group was to one day disapear these people would no longer exist, socially and personally. These people need people inorder to live. They are not concerned with the space around them, although if they were suddenly dropped in a foreign country they would suddenly find themselves looking to space and unconcious objects for affirmation.
May 9th
Space -
* A period or interval of time.
Our life is a space between to points (start to end) and this means there is space before and after us. We consume space for the entirety of our conscious life and only things that we put inside of our body can consume this same space. Once we die we go on consuming space for a lot longer than we consciously did until the time that we break down so much that we turn back into molecules. It is then that we as molecules could possibly be reincarnated and even influence (depending on the mineral make up of me as a molecule) that conscious objects conscience.
* Sufficient freedom from external pressure to develop or explore one’s needs, interests, and individuality: “The need for personal space inevitably asserts itself” (Maggie Scarf).
More Tomorrow……..
May 8th
Space –
* The infinite extension of the three-dimensional region in which all matter exists.
How infinite is this extension?? What are the confines. When I think about space I also think that there must be something confirming the space, some kind of shell or skin. If you hold up your hands and say ‘this is a space’, most people will look at your blank hands and say what space?? If you hold up your hands and in your hands is a perfect square box with nothing in it and say ‘look at the space’ they may look inside the blank box but inside the blank box in nothing more than what was in the blank hands. All I have done is include an object, however the make up of this object can define the meaning of this space to many things.
Tomorrow I will write about the other meanings below;
* A period or interval of time.
* Sufficient freedom from external pressure to develop or explore one’s needs, interests, and individuality: “The need for personal space inevitably asserts itself” (Maggie Scarf).
May 7th
I am using video as a means in which to capture a passage of time, my time. Rather than viewing ones self in a mirror which is 1st person/ 3rd person which is generally more intimate, I prefer to capture a sequence of events, these events may not be visible by someone watching my video but they are happening, a constant contemplation of ones surroundings, reassuring myself while riding along a path that suddenly it won’t come to an end. I use video rather than photography because I want to capture a passage of time that is greater than 1/250th of a second, something longer than a general thought or interpretation.
I am no longer happy to say “things happen for a reason” and leave it at that, I wish to challenge reason, challenge decisions and interpretations and most of all challenge myself
May 4th
It could be argued that space is a confirmation of ones self consciousness but not of ones existence. Our intelligence tells us what we can go through, be inside of and stand on. Have you ever seen a bird try to fly into a window? Most humans desire something greater to confirm their existence and it generally comes down to recognition. Those that are less recognised generally feel less important. Such humans should turn to space for conformation of existence as over time this will be a more reliable source. Space is something you can directly interact with and at the same time see your influence. The creation or destruction of urban or natural environment confirms your existence within that space.
To be continued………
May 3rd
Today My Great Uncle died in a car accident. This leads me to think althoug we have control of our lives, really it’s only a partial control and we are only a minute part of evolution. We start life with no concept but with many expectations, we endeavour to please and achieve these and then after success and failure we arrive at the end with nothing but reflection and a blank sheet of paper stating the next task.
May 1st
While at work today cleaning I spotted in the court yard the carcass of what seemed to be a dead pigeon. Obviously it had been attacked and killed as surrounding it were many feathers spanning metres and in the centre its gutted frame where there was once organs. This pigeon was still existing for me, more so in fact as it was a lot more obvious than the conscious pigeons scattered amongst the court yard scavenging peoples crumbs. Is it possible to say now that this pigeon has had a superior existence to that of other pigeons? even though it was not known while it had a conscience. It’s existence is superior to that of many humans in my mind and no doubt the gardener will remember it for sometime when he discovers it too. Could it be said that the extent of ones existence is measured by impression?
April 30th
“Feeling suddenly attached to life when we realise the imminence of death suggests that it was perhaps not life itself which we had lost the taste for so long as there was no end in sight, but our quotidian version of it, that our dissatisfaction was more the result of a certain way of living than of anything irrevocably morose about human experience.”
Alain De Botton
April 27th
Video for me is a way to bridge gaps between my past, present and future existence’s. Whether the spaces within these existence’s is important is dependant on the time and my recollection or prediction of the situations. Space is an integral part of my existence helping to shape and form my personality and identity. However, unlike many, given the ability I would prefer to change the space around me regularly. I find insecurities within myself when I become at ease with a space, and I also get tired, bored and destructive, personally and physically.
April 27th
I am using video art as a tool, as a means to cross static bounds of space and image freely.
April 25th
Some might think I’m getting philosophical, what I’m actually doing is breaking down what exactly it is I’m trying say and get out of my art work. I’ve come to the point where I am saying that I want to question the reality of my existence. This is something that is questionable without including the idea of space as a confirmation of existence, in the conversation. These are the two aspects I am dealing with, ‘the reality of my own self existence’ and also ‘the way space confirms my existence’. If every conscious living aspect was to leave my life one day could I survive? The is something that many could never contemplate but this is just a reversal of what happens when we die, with only space confirming that we once existed.
If anyone has anything they’d like to discuss about my writting here please send me an email.
April 23rd
I got this in a fortune cookie today; “A foolish man is one who stops asking questions”
I really likes this and it left me thinking about people I have met throughout my life, some never stopped asking questions and at times I found this irritating but in the last few years I have come to realise how important this is, if only for self gratification. A person who excepts their surroundings and lifestyle as ‘it happens cause it happens’ kind of mentality is kind of lucky and foolish at the same time. Personally I enjoy questioning the reality of my lifestyle and how I come to be in certain situations, this keeps me content.
April 21st
“in my loneliness, I connect with my surroundings” Tom Hall
“my life is over” Schapelle Corby
April 18th
If you tell a story long enough or tell someone something unique that story will never be forgotten and you will be immortal.
April 17th
The thing I like about dreaming is the endless possibility for ones subconscious advancement, i.e partying with the best band in the World.
It’s interesting that this happens in such a small space (inside our heads) this is where things are different to reality in many ways, as the space does not control the content. The content is unrestricted in carrying out the most advanced narratives imaginable.
With the content inside of my work I not only want to question space and its conformation of our presence but I want it to show possibilities of an advanced reality, thus questioning the possibility that the reality we think is right, is possibly different.
April 16th
Extracts from the Diary;
“personally I prefer concrete”
Personaly
April 15th
I would refer to myself as self existing. Meaning, I exist for and within myself whole heartily firstly and through and for other secondly. I know a lot of people and even more know me even though they don’t know it but still I prefer my way of existence. This sounds selfish but at the end of my time I’m the one who has to be satisfied. It’s applicable to say that it’s a space that confirms me or that’s how I would prefer it.
When it’s people that confirms your existence it can be decremental in that it can be positive or negative to your existence and somewhat shallow. However, an environment or space is so much better for me as it does not distinguish variables within you but just confirms your inside of it and existing.
April 14th
Extracts direct from my visual diary;
A mixture of memory combined with the familiarity confirms our existence when we walk into a space/environment. If something is largely changed then we question both the integrity of the space and also our importance within the space.
“At the end of the day it’s a box that confirms us, confirms the end. I’m not being morbid, I’m being real.”
A question to ponder;
What does a blank white space mean to you?
April 12th
The small problem I can see with life is that we can’t live alone. We need other people, objects and places to repeatidly confirm that we are who we are, if any of these fail it’s commonly known as a ‘crisis’. I would like to try to live without these three exterior sources, not forgetting that one day I actually will.
April 10th
“if we walk around a triangle what will tell us that it’s not a square?”
“if we walk through a playground how can we be sure it will be the same when we turn around and look back?”
April 6th
Some extracts from the diary;
exist – to have a place in objective reality.
death is universal, inevitable and significant.
maybe we only exist in our minds, how long could we last if nothing talked to or recognised us?
April 4th
It’s interesting for me when I hear people say “without money, your nothing” as I feel without money I am more. Money only controls you, what you do, where you eat, where you go. However, it could be said that those with money have cemented a bigger self existence as they are often associated with more people, therefore confirming their physicality, but if they lost their money they would most likely return to a nothingless existence far greater than someone who never had any to start with. At the end of the day we all end up in the ground, some with a prestigous picture of themselves on a wall somewhere and some with their name in what was once wet cement.
Extract from the Diary;
“Appreciate life as we know it as death is inevitable and no one knows when their ticket will be up.”
March 29
Extracts from the Visual Diary;
“I live to leave a trace of my existence, something substantial”
March 28
“throughout others I Live, without them I Die.”
23 March
If I directly impact on an environment, creating a permanent mark does that mean I continue to exist in that area after I have left? At first I must exist in a physical matter inorder to permanently mark something of matter, however it is possible to mark something mentally without mattering physically, therefore an existence in memory could be said to be more important than something physical.
22 March
“Time is my enemy”
21st March 2005
Contemplating ones existence could be said to be an inevitable task, I look at it as decent challenge.
19th March
All of the months are available for viewing now in the “JAPAN” section so go and check them out. I will also have some small video examples of work in progress available for viewing sometime this weekend.
What am I trying to do/say with my art work? I am questioning the integrity of my existence through suggestive and metaphoric video and sound. This Work also suggests wider notions of everyone’s existence and reason for placement in any given environment.
Is it us that confirms an environment or an environment that confirms us?
18th March 12:34am
Would we exist better without the western time (24hour day)?? from now on I will drop the time from this blog as it has no relevance.
the idea that we exist purely through our occupation of a space is an interesting one, is it the shadow?? or the more profound surroundings that confirm us?? could it just be another person or even an animal? these are things we all should think about but ones that keep me awake at night keeping me from my subconscious existence.
16th March 10:12pm
Just in case people have been wondering what all this talk has been about below, I have decided to use this blog from now on as a means to reflect on what it is I’m trying to do and say with my honours work. If anyone has any questions or just wants to say something (anything goes) drop me an email………..
………..I asked myself today while swimming 30 laps of the pool, if I died right now would I be happy? the answer was YES! Why? cause I’ve already marked the earth more than some people can even dream.
15th March 5:26pm
Extracts from the Visual Diary;
…….Repetition and Existence go hand in hand, without repetition our existence is null and void. Without the repetition of my heart I will not live, if I am not living am I still existing? it depends on others……
13th March 7:57pm
I think it’s strange how things come back into your life to remind you of a past existence both physically, mentally and subconsciously. I question this, as most often than not the things that comeback to me were discarded for a reason, however it is kind of comforting as it confirms that my existence has been plentiful. The strangest recollections are the the subconscious ones, little bits of memory that have been sitting in my head waiting to be triggered and bought back to importance (most often they’re not important or I don’t consider them to be at the time).
12th March 10:46pm
Lets talk about my uni work. I am working with the theme of my existence within a space (mostly public). In Japan I had alot of time to think about and contemplate why and how I was existing. I am intrigued by the space that I consume within the public environment and how this is relevant or irrelevant to other people. However without other people my existence can only be within myself as I need people and environments in order to confirm that I am actually existent. I am also interested in how I affect people, not directly but subconsciously either through something I create or something I do and say… More Tomorrow….
9th March 9:52pm
Been hitting the pool hard with my mate Trev as it is really close to my new place. Getting some work done, I don’t know where it’s headed but I’m having fun and that’s what matters. Really loving the workout at the pool actually it’s keeping my mind fresh. I really miss Yuko and with a little over 2 weeks to go I can’t wait to see her!! I want to start a band with her when she gets here, I think between us we can make some good music.
8th March 10:37am
I’ve just spent the night in my new pad, Stockdale st. Dickson, Canberra, Australia. I had a bit of a reckless sleep but actually I never sleep well the first night anywhere, unless I’ve been flying for 24 hours + Getting cracking into my work today
7th March 10:23am
Lorna’s party was heaps of fun yesterday afternoon and afternoon. Trev and Sam’s band played called “the fuck burgers” they did a pretty good job and even I did a guest vocals appearance. Two visiting Japanese girls came along (from my university in Japan) and they had a great time, I was speaking heaps of Japanese to them, although it makes me miss Yuko alot. Moving into my new place today which is exciting. I really need to get cracking on my honours work.
6th March 9:47am
Today I’m moving into my new place, Dickson. Should be pretty sweet as it’s a pretty prime location. Yesterday was cold and shitty but today looks promising. We have Lorna’s birthday today which should be a blast. Trev and Sam are playing and I’m probably going to do a guest appearance on vocals. Peace
3rd March 8:33pm
Went to an opening tonight at The National Gallery of Australia. It was a retrospective show of Grace Cossington Smith’s, nice show with great company (Trev and Sam) but I still wish I was back in Japan!!
2nd March 5:20pm
After my big crash in Japan where I lost about 50Gb of info I had on my computer (I’m still pissed off) I have finally started to redo my website. I lost all the files that made up my website so this time I’m going somewhat analogue, just for a while, I really like it, kind of minimalist style.
1st March 6:41pm
Answer “Because we are just characters in a chose your own adventure book, here one page, gone the next”
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